NO MODS? NO PROBLEM!
by little miss BANANNA HEAD
Summary: Ever wonder what the Phansite PMs get up to when all the mods and Mishima (our lovely admin) are down for the count? FIND OUT HERE! [chapter 1: Why the Pancake Porn Room had to be created]; [story cover pic will be changed as per the chapter updates to stay in-theme]; WARNING: THIS CONTAINS EXTREME SMUT! ENJOY!
1. MapleSyrup

AN: NO MODS? NO PROBLEM!

From the Phansite PMs to you! (AKA: what the Phansite Chat get up to when Mishima and all the mods r out)

Chapter title: Why the PANCAKE P*** ROOM was created

Featuring Doll, Akechi_Kun, Maple_Syrup, Goro_Akechi, Chib (has akechi pfp), and CakeCat PMs RP-ers

Also, Happy Birthday Akechi_Kun from the PMs! Thank you for giving me the inspiration to write this (btw, I wrote this on ur BDAY yesterday, but posting on Saturday was more for the aesthetic).

Enjoy!

* * *

[13 Sept. 2017]

Akechi-kun : Hey Doll, can I make a suggestion for Smutty Saturday?

 **MAPLE_SYRUP ENTERS THE CHAT**

Maple_Syrup: AKECHI X MAPLE SYRUP CONFIRMED

Doll: * _Akechi tenderly strokes Maple Syrup's flask, drawing pleasured shudders from the outer container. The syrupy goodness inside began to warm.*_

Akechi-kun's mouth gaped open. He knew something was wrong when Doll had taken a few moments to reply to his question. Maple_Syrup's arrival was too well-timed to be a coincidence. However, Akechi-kun was curious to see where this went.

Maple_Syrup: I could write it, but someone might question me when they step into my office and see me shipping Akechi with syrup.

' _oh no_ ' Akechi thought wryly, knowing exactly where this chat was going. He only had to wait another moment before Doll's next post fed through the chat.

Doll: * _Maple_Syrup is impatient, and urges Akechi to gain a better hold. Akechi is almost unwilling, but goes along with his beloved's request. He pulls the flask in to lean flush against his chest. Akechi slowly leans in, darting his tongue out to taste the delicious elixir from within Maple_Syrup's barely covered casing.*_

Akechi-kun couldn't help but send a smiley face through the chat, silently applauding Doll on her _tasteful_ choice of shipping and wordplay. Reading about eating maple syrup made him hungry, though…

Maple_Syrup: * _The liquid itself seems to shudder, worm and fluid at Akechis touch, feeling true passion from the flasks partner.*_

Maple_Syrup: Warm**

Maple_Syrup: Fuck I'm tired

Akechi snorted behind his laptop monitor. He knew Doll now had perfect ammunition to write, and waited the 2 minutes it took for her to text out another paragraph in the general chat room. A notification sounded from his normally innocent laptop (incognito mode was created for a reason!). Akechi's face flushed at what Maple_Syrup had posted.

Maple_Syrup: * _Akechi floated and breathed in the syrupy dimension, the liquid around him quivered and touched him gently, likea warm, loving hand.*_

Maple_Syrup: \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Maple_Syrup: I'm okay with this, and I am not okay with that.

Akechi clicked into another chat room tab, trying to deal with his mounting arousal. His turn on was pancakes, he tried to reason with himself, but the maple syrup looked so _delicious_... The paragraphs that the regular smut writer and her new accomplice had created were slowly unravelling Akechi's deepest darkest secret desires. He didn't realise he'd be shipped automatically with an alt account. The fact that said alt account could write smut as well as Doll was truly horrifying. Ironically, Akechi found solace in the Memes Room.

When the next notification for the General Room lit up, Akechi was mildly wary of clicking back into the chat, but did so anyways. Doll's message on the screen sent sinful shivers down his spine and a sharp pang of _excitement_ entered his chest. Akechi's mouth watered.

[Enter Goro_Akechi]

Doll: * _Goro Watches from the sideline, enjoying the actions of his fellow pancake lover and his bought pleasure swallow eachother. He drank in the erotic sight, panting slightly as his eyes darkened in sadistic pleasure. Akechi-kun was now trapped in Maple_Syrup's containment unit, and that only made his plans all the more possible. Akechi and Malpe_Syrup didn't seem to register the other pancake lover in the room, instead more focussed on pleasuring eachother. Goro chuckled darkly.* ***_ _ **This was going to be fun.*****_

* * *

 **[CHAT STOPS HERE, BUT HERE'S THE REST OF THE AKECHI X GORO X MAPLE SYRUP FIC I PROMISED EVERYONE]**

* * *

Goro walked forward into the sight of his fellow pancake lovers, carrying a brown paper bag filled with something _definitely_ differed from regular groceries. A malicious smirk cut deeply into his face, causing the male teen idol's appearance to shift from polite jest to menacing psycho. Akechi managed to stop voring out his lover in favour of watching through the mildly opaque plastic between himself and Goro. The terrifying smirk was hidden behind a veil of sticky syrup, and so Akechi held no fear as of yet.

Maple Syrup saw the smirk, though. He quivered, bringing Akechi's attention back to the one he wished to pleasure. Goro took this opportunity to toss a poultice filled to the brim with a crushed white powder. His smirk widened into a full-blown sadistic grin.

In spite of popular belief, Goro hadn't thrown illicit drugs into Maple_Syrup's canister. In fact, he'd done something much, _much_ , worse. He'd thrown in a kilogram of crushed Viagra tablets into the maple syrup which Akechi was slurping.

He knew his plan would bore _wickedly cruel_ results. Akechi would finish drinking in his lover, and then be stuck at the bottom while raging sexual hormones wreaked havoc unto his system. Goro knew that was when he'd officially _strike_.

In the time it took for the plan to fold out in his head, Goro backtracked into the shadows, becoming one with them in favour of watching Akechi drown in the sexually-empowered syrup.

In a matter of minutes, Akechi was near to the bottom and helplessly humping dry air. He'd lost mobility of his legs only moments ago, collapsing into what was left of the Viagra-syrup concoction on his back. From where he stood, Goro could hear Akechi vulnerably moaning out in both wanton need and strangled pleasure. He watched as his fellow RP-er choked on tendrils of maple syrup, grasping at his clothes and the sides of Maple_Syrup's weakened plastic canister. Goro's sadistic side trilled with glee at the sight of his fellow pancake lover feebly attempting to escape from his tomb.

However, Goro reasoned, should Akechi die, then Goro himself wouldn't have anyone to enjoy.

With this in mind, Goro strode up to Maple_Syrup and knocked him over, causing Akechi to tumble right out. Akechi landed flush against the ground, humping the concrete aggressively in an attempt to alleviate his torment.

Goro would have none of it.

Within seconds of Akechi's release, Goro had him pinned to the ground in a way that wouldn't allow the teen to move even an inch. Akechi mewled in his grasp, causing Goro to trail Akechi's side possessively and grip onto a syrupy sodden hip. Goro then dragged his own hips down to Akechi's plump arse, aiming directly for where the crack would be. His violent vigor brought startled gasps to Akechi's moist mouth. Goro watched distractedly as Akechi's mouth formed various shapes, bringing out 'o' and 'a' sounding vowels with each plunge.

Goro hadn't realised just how tantalising Akechi could be.

With a possessive growl, Goro brought his mouth down and took hold of Akechi's ear. He sucked and pulled, bringing more lewd sounds from his prey.

Akechi himself could barely tell what was up or down, the constant thrusting into his maple-syrup-soaked rear end and the stinging pleasures from his ear both unravelling him faster than he could fathom. It was almost pure relief when Goro finally stripped him of his pants and undergarments. The cold cement brought some clarity from the drug-induced craze, but it was quickly wiped out by the hands suddenly gripping his slicked balls. Akechi let out a choked gasp.

Goro was pleased. His prey was nearly at his peak, and every moment of tight warmth passing over his most sensitive area brought Goro all the more closer to his own. Sweat began to bead his forehead at the exertion, but it only fuelled his lecherous passion all the more. He began to unbutton his own trousers and ended up slipping out of them with the help of the syrup. He smiled. The syrup was more useful than he'd anticipated.

Precum mixed with maple syrup as Goro impaled his helpless victim with his extended rod in a vicious cycle. Guttural cries exploded from Akechi's overused vocal cords, his orifice tightening with every new wave of pleasured pain. He was still unable to move under Goro's pinning form, despite the aggressive thrusts and jerks he made in his advances. The coils within both males tightened until it was as though they were both suffocating from heady pressure.

In the heat of the night, between two Akechis, a quick-pounding eruption rocked through both worlds.

While Goro walked away with a slight limp, Akechi was left lying there. Confused, alone, naked and covered from head to toe in cum and maple syrup, he stared at Maple_Syrup's canister. His eyes slowly shut, but as darkness enveloped him, he vowed to do this again.

No matter how long it took.

* * *

 **[CHAT CONTINUES FROM THIS POINT FORWARD]**

* * *

[14 Sept. 2017]

RANDOMLY IN THE MIDDLE OF GENERAL CHAT ROOM

Doll: * _Akechi stares at Maple_Syrup's empty canister. He hadn't meant to eat his delicious lover inside out. A flash of pride shoots through him though, as he remembers that night of pleasure with everything in his being. He waits for his lover to regenerate, then they shall resume where they left off.*_

A moment of silence takes hold of the chat as everyone stares at the excerpt of tempting post-porn smut Doll had thrown into the disarray of the PMs. A few of those online had to blink several times in an attempt to memorise the tempting paragraph. Some of the smarter PM-ers took screenshots, though. They knew what's up. Eventually, one of the newer additions to the PM's snapped out of their daze.

Chib: This is the wrong time to say this

Chib: But damn, I'm hungry.

Another pause.

CakeCat: kinky

Doll: _oh my_ _ **God**_ _, Chib_

* * *

AN: I finally wrote it! I hope you're all happy XD

Needless to say, we were asked to take this to a custom room, so I made the Pancake P*** Room (more erotic than you think - thank you Akechi-kun)


	2. One Doll Alone

AN: ONE DOLL. ALONE.

(When Doll logs in the PMs and finds herself alone)

Enjoy!

* * *

When Doll logged in to the Phansite PMs, she hadn't expected the chatrooms to be completely empty. She checked the time on her laptop screen.

 _'_ _Hmm… More people are normally on around this time… how strange.'_

Regardless, her boredom soon peaked around 20 minutes later. She decided to leave a parting gift for the next person who logged in, taking full advantage of the message saving function Mishima had implemented only a month ago.

Doll: _Doll sits in a barren wasteland. She reminisces of simpler times, when the PMs was the homeplace of Salt Queens and birds with a penchant for voring. Alone in this desolate world, she accepts her fate. She walks this path alone._

 **CHIB ENTERS THE CHAT**

Chib: doll o/

Doll: CHIB!

Chib: sup

Doll couldn't believe her luck. It'd only been 30 seconds after she'd posted that little narrative, and already the Universe was ready to mess with her. With a hopeful smile, she wrote a new narrative.

Doll: _In the distance, Chib's silhouette is highlighted by the setting sun. Doll is happy. She thought she'd be forever alone in this post-apocalyptic dystopia._

 **MAXIMOS ENTERS THE CHAT**

Maximos: kek. You are too imagenative. Cul.

Maximos: If I was you I just be blasting porn full volume here.

Doll: lol

Picasso (for that was Maximos' nickname appointed by Doll since their first meeting) and Doll both settled down for a moment, but the peace was soon disturbed for reasons nobody in the chat at the time could understand (they still can't).

Chib: I'm alive

Maximos: GIVE ME ALL THE ORGASAM NOISE

Maximos: YEEEEEEEUUUS

Maximos: oh hi chib

Doll: I'm that one person who'd get scared in a dressing room if mum suddenly disappeared. I don't care if I'm 18.

Everyone in the chat had messaged the above lines at the same time. Wifi might've been quite the factor in this, but all in all, another wave of silence hit the chat.

….

Chib: lovely thing to come back to

Doll: that shit is scary – hello!

Maximos: If scared blast porn

Doll: N0

Maximos: monsters will fuck off

Doll: I'M A LADY!

Doll: Ladies don't blast porn, we _draw_ it.

Maximos: FUCK YOU LADY BLAST PORN

Doll: In my case, ladies _write_ porn too

It was at this moment, in a sudden time-stopping second, Maximos knew that he fucked up.

Maximos: oh no. smut. Oh no.

Doll: _Picasso lets out a soft sigh as chib runs a hand down his arm_

Maximos: P

Doll: _the two bodies move closer_

Maximos: SSSSTTTTTAAAAHHHPPP

Doll: NO MODS? BLAST SMUT!

Maximos: FEK! I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!

Doll: _Chib runs a thumb over Picasso's lower lip. Discreetly, Picasso droops his eyes shut._

Our lovely writer decided to take a quick peek to the left at the "online" tab. She noted the list with an amused twinkle in her eyes.

Doll: Lol. Chib went idle

Doll stopped writing smut as now both Picasso and Chib were idle. She'd only just clicked into her youtube tab when she got a notification from the PMs. She clicked back.

Chib: DID YOU JUST WRITE SMUT ABOUT ME WHILE I WAS GONE

Doll: I THOUGHT YOU WERE STILL HERE

Chib: Also hi I'm a lady and I blast porn

Chib's mind-blowing statement was ignored.

Doll: I APOLOGISE IF THE IDLE TIMER DOESN'T WORK FAST ENOUGH

A moment of silence.

Doll: WAIT

Maximos: BLAST

Another beat.

Maximos: wait…

Doll: chib's a chic?

Chib: lmaoo

Maximos: YOU A LADY?!

Maximos: FUCK OFF

Doll: XD

Maximos: I DON'T BELIEVE

Doll: This smut just went a lot more erotic

Maximos: NIEN

Chib: I'm honored you thought I was a dude.

Maximos: Cause you sound like one

There was a brief lull in the chat, which Chib used to process everything that'd happened so far. Doll's smut comment struck her as odd.

Chib: Smut of me doesn't work because I'm asexual lol

Maximos: Please. Oh no.

Doll: _Chib's wink melts Picasso's snowman heart. His chest thuds with a quickening pulse_

Doll: OMG THIS IS AMAZING!

Doll: _Doll is so happy_

Maximos: doll is axited oh no

Doll: excited**

Maximos: shush. I know. I talk however the fuk I want woman

Doll: _Picasso can barely breathe, let alone talk, as Chib presses soft lips into the crook of his neck_

Maximos: FOR FUCK SAKE

Doll: _A swell fills Picasso's chest as Chib winds an arm around his waist. Picasso languidly moans into the embrace, letting this woman do despicable things to his senses._

Maximos: … are you sure you are asexual?

Doll: Do you feel better now?

When Picasso did not reply, Doll took matters into her own hands.

Doll: _Chib enjoyed bringing this man to his knees. She loved the way he'd arch his back at the slightest of touches, and lean into the gentlest of kisses. It made tearing him apart that much easier._

Maximos: YES. THANK YOU. But it ain't about fucking damnit. I just want someone to love me. It sounds pathetic but… ehhhhh.

Doll: But smut is smut. Doll's smut is porn-star worthy. This must be written dammit.

Doll: CHIB, WILL YOU BE MY PORN STAR!

Maximos: Mate. I am a porn star.

Doll: AKE IS OVERSEAS I NEED SOMEONE TO JOIN THE HAREM

Doll: yea but you're like, sub. I need a dom.

Chib: i—It's pretty much done LOL you've ruined me

Maximos: GODDAMN IT DOLL

Doll: YIIIIISSSS

Maximos: WHY CAN'T I BE DOM? Siiiiiggghhhhhhhhhhhh

Doll: You let _Ake_ dominate you…

Doll: It's like dying to a fist fight with a snail.

Maximos: But I like switching shit up

Doll: You did. In the fanfic. Where Ake was mid…

Maximos: I HAVE NOT SHOWN MY TRUE POWER BOIIIIIIIIII

Maximos: …

Doll: and you and queef did despicable things

Maximos: ….. welp. Fuck. Anyway.

Chib was merciful enough to change the subject.

Chib: Okay I'm curious, since you guys thought I was a dude, how old do you think I am?

Maximos: I'm 19 and all I've done is kissed a boy and girl and nothing more. Oh. Is say 21? Or 20..

Doll: 19.

Chib: Maxi is closest. 22

Maximos: 22

Chib: (I think hold on)

Chib's idle timer when back to yellow, telling Picasso and Doll that she was currently AFK. Doll smiled wickedly.

Doll: _Picasso lets Chib ruin his senses of reality. This gift was made solely for her, and Picasso would be damned if it was ruined._

Doll: I can't write good smut anymore ;_; fam behind me

Chib's name on the Online list turned green again, symbolizing that she had returned.

Chib: lmao the time of night when there's only 3 people on? That's bonding hour?

Chib: *not bondage hour

Maximos: MMM BDSM

Doll: ….

Doll: _Chib discreetly clinks handcuffs around Picasso's wrists. By the time he notices the new addition, he's already been securely cuffed around a bedpost._

Maximos: fffffffffffffffffffffffff

Chib: There we go, there it is

Doll: I love you ppl

Chib: trigger words

Maximos: same. Safe word is hee ho

Doll: safe word is lemon. Since you can easily moan hee ho ur a JACK FROST GDI

Chib: lmao

Maximos: HHeeEEHEeHEh HhhoO0ooO

* * *

 **IT BEGINS NOW**

* * *

With a steady hand, Chib trails along Maximos' trembling form with confident motions. She takes the Jack Frosts' hat off, opting to throw it over her shoulder into the darkness of the imaginary room. In an assertive fashion, Chib brings herself into a straddling position directly on Picasso's lap.

She took in his bone-chilling form with her eyes, not feeling a piece of hunger. She could see that Picasso was weak with want, though, and was happy to bring her hips down on his with a power unsuspecting of her small frame. Chib was no loli (in fact, she was very much a trap), but the amount of force she possessed in that one grind was enough to send him howling his signature phrase like it was the only thing he could comprehend anymore.

"HEEEE HOOOOOO~" He shrilled, his cracking voice betraying just how much this woman affected him. Despite his snowman status, each touch Chib made sent shivers down his icy spine. Every flutter of her fingers against the dips and seams of his uniform made Picasso wish he had the option to strip himself of these terrible confines. He needed release, but didn't see an end to this madness.

Chib enjoyed bringing pleasure to the writhing being underneath her. She particularly liked it when she'd tug at the hem of his shirt or pants. Maximos would shudder with lecherous desires, and then Chib would service the area only minimally. She wanted to tease this sprite until there was no more room for such games. Chib wanted to show him just how powerful she really was.

" _guAAAAAHHH!"_ Picasso could barely let out as Chib's hands began to trace the inside of his thigh with the tips of her nails. They left scorch marks on his ice-like skin, and the sprite was almost curious on how he hadn't melted yet. The thoughts were chased away when Chib's skilled fingers dipped into the area between his thigh and his member and began to rub along the crook. An intense buzz permeated his mind, and a warm energy welled up within his torso. The constant friction, however light, created a frozen precum to drip and stain his pants, alerting Chib of his distress.

Our lovely dominatrix was pleased, albeit surprised, with the swift appearance of Picasso's erection. She changed the pace within the instant she saw the stain, grabbing hold of the rod and rubbing fast and hard with every bit of strength she was capable of.

Picasso's storm-like moans sung harmonies throughout the room as Chib delivered one of the best hand-jobs he'd ever received. His back arched and his hips bucked into the woman's hand unashamedly, wanting more than what Chib was giving him. His body ached with a fire he'd all but forgotten in the days Ake had been gone. Chib's expert grip reminded him of what his body had missed.

Chib wanted to be creative. With an experimental twist of her hand, Picasso's howling intensified to near screams of complete pleasure. When she jutted her hips down onto his, Chib was satisfied with the tremors of repressed sexual desires that eventually leaked and turned Picasso's pants a dark grey. She wanted to do more, though.

Chib wanted to make this sprite climax till he passed out.

It was at this point that Chib stopped using her hand to build Picasso's heat, and jammed her hips down onto his in a rapid cycle of burning friction between soiled and clothed skin on clothed skin. Picasso was almost a treat to Chib, who'd only had to partake in this cycle for all but a minute before Picasso's hips bucked on their own. She let the sprite deal with his orgasm, instead deciding to shove a white pill into Picasso's open mouth and kissing him, forcing him to swallow.

Chib smiled.

Now that Picasso had had his share of Viagra…

This night will _never end…_

* * *

AN: I hope you all enjoyed that. I actually have a migraine right now so I apologise if the smut attempt seems weak this time around. Please don't forget to favourite, or follow (as this is an ongoing series), and review! I'd love to hear about what you think of the series so far!


	3. ChatLogs

AN: Mishima is ADMIN not MOD. Also, this is an iconic PMs Exclusives that I didn't want to separate from the rest of the madness. There are various ChatLogs here from different days, and on their own they don't make up a proper chapter (and I was typing this on my phone so I didn't put any smut into here. This is Funny Saturday this week lel)

ENJOY!

* * *

ChatLog: LeThrone

USER LIST:

Mira

AkeShu

Akechi_Kun

Mishima (ADMIN)

Queef

ShadowCDoom

AussieDollVA

What started as a simple comment brought the whole chat present into complete anarchy.

AussieDollVA: I wonder if mish will kick Mira ake and akechi just to have the throne…

The chat had gone into complete silence as soon as everyone's favourite smut writer said this. A wave of anxiety had taken hold of those in line for the throne, and Doll giggled to herself.

She knew _exactly_ what she's started.

Mira: I WOULD BE SAD

Queef: oh damn

Akechi_Kun: oh no

Mira: HE DID THE SPANISH REFRESH WHEN I HAD IT BEFORE

AkeShu: If he could kick Mira so that I have the throne that would be great

*Mira sent a picture*

Mira: !am I best girl?

Tanaka-Bot: The best you'll ever get :D

Mira: ake you have the throne enough

Queef: Why the throne? What's so important about it?

Mira: IT MAKES YOU FEEL SPECIAL

ShadowCDoom: I don't think anyone will be able to guess my name

Akechi_Kun: You get to be in Mishima's atticement

Queef: Same shadow

Doll smirked. Rubbing her hands in preparation for her next lines, she let out an evil little chuckle. The stage was already set. Now it was time to pour some _fuel_ on the flame.

AussieDollVA: whoever holds the throne knows what mish's attic looks like

AussieDollVA: According to hazman there's a maze. And a tunnel.

USER LIST:

Mira

AkeShu

Mishima (ADMIN)

Queef

ShadowCDoom

AussieDollVA

Akechi_Kun

Akechi_Kun: Did I just get refreshed!?

Doll snorted behind her computer screen. Sure enough, Akechi's name had been moved to the bottom of the list and Mishima's name was now third from the throne.

AussieDollVA: oh my god it's already begun

AussieDollVA: I'm screencapping this

Queef: I WANNA SEE

ShadowCDoom: cos honestly, I was named after a character in a old show

Akechi_Kun: What will you screencap doll?

Akechi_Kun: Mishevil strikes again

*Akechi_Kun sent a picture*

*It's Mishima's profile pic, but thick eyebrows and Mexican moustache pubes have been photoshopped onto his face*

AkeShu: Oh my gosh

Queef: Omg

USER LIST:

Mira

Mishima (ADMIN)

Queef

ShadowCDoom

AussieDollVA

Akechi_Kun

AkeShu

Mira: IT REALLY IS HAPPENING

Mira: MISHIE IM YOUR FAVOURITE

ShadowCDoom: uh oh

Queef: What happened

Mira: ake died

Akechi_Kun: Mishevil's Profile -Phansite (link)

AkeShu: What just happened?

Mira: mishie I love u dont do this to me

AkeShu: Why am I so far down now ;;;;;

Queef: Omg lmao

Mira: WHOMST GAVE HIM THIS IDEA

Mira: IM SAD NOW

Behind her laptop's screen, Doll was covering her mouth to hide the surprised laughter that bubbled up from this turn of events. She didn't expect this to go so well.

ShadowCDoom: he'll probably do it just to annoy you

USER LIST:

Mira

Mishima (ADMIN)

Queef

ShadowCDoom

AussieDollVA

Akechi_Kun

AkeShu

Dummy

AkeShu: Oh dummy is here

Queef: Mishi can you make me queeeeeeen?

AkeShu: Oh you can see who is in each room

Mira: yeah you can

Queef: Miracle is Queen

Queef: Mira*

Mira: -miracle

Mira: damn u autocorrect

AkeShu: Mira is a miracle

Queef: Mishi is King

Mira: MISHIEEEE

Queef: And I'm their little Princess

Mira: no offence but why would I ever name my daughter queef

AkeShu: Haha

Queef: Shhhh

USER LIST:

Mira

Queef

ShadowCDoom

AussieDollVA

Akechi_Kun

AkeShu

Dummy

Mishima (ADMIN)

ShadowCDoom: did… mishima reset?

Mira: mish refreshed

AkeShu: Mishie is no longer King haha

Mira: inb4 the spanish refresh

 **END**

* * *

Hehehe you all thought it was over XD KEEP SCROLLING DOWN!

* * *

ChatLog: Kinky

USER LIST:

Maximos

Cayde_6

CakeCat

AussieDollVA

Chib

Brosuke

Akechi_Kun

Maximos: Wassup you dumb ass? Hows your fever?

Cayde_6: Was it that one story on the forums?

CakeCat: What

CakeCat: im all better now

Cayde_6: Nvm

CakeCat: and yes

Cayde_6: Oh.

Cayde_6: Nvm to the nvm

Maximos: Oh. Cake how are you

CakeCat: guud

Maximos: Ok good. Don't get sick AND THEN GO TO SCHOOL LIKE A CORPSE AGAIN.

AussieDollVA: spiders can hold their breath (or retain oxygen in the molecules of their hair) for hours or even days

CakeCat: maxie daddy

Maximos: ohno

CakeCat: p-punish m-me please

Maximos: NEVER ASKED FOR THIS

AussieDollVA: the reason you shouldn't flush a spider is because they could multiply in your drainpipes and then infest your system

*Doll read the last few lines of dialogue*

AussieDollVA: oh my Picasso…

Maximos: DOLL NO

AussieDollVA: I didn't know you were a ladies man

Maximos: NO

*CakeCat sends a gif of ginger loli blowing hearts at the screen*

AussieDollVA: I thought you were into guys

Maximos: Owo

CakeCat: punish me maxie daddy

AussieDollVA: Cake does not count.

There was a lull of silence over the chat.

AussieDollVA: So are you…

Maximos: I WAS JUST WORRIED FOR CAKE

AussieDollVA: gonna punish him?

Maximos: WHA..WHAT

AussieDollVA: _Doll holds stick out for Picasso_

Chib: Doll have you seen diving spiders? They're fucking cool

Maximos: AHH

AussieDollVA: I'm watching a spider documentary now

CakeCat: maxie can dress up like a doctor and give me a…

AussieDollVA: I'm terrified of spiders

CakeCat: "checkup"

Maximos: o.o

Maximos: no

CakeCat: ;^)

Chib: they literally get a _bubble butt_

CakeCat: y e s

AussieDollVA: _Doll holds out a "thermometer" to Picasso_

Maximos: NEVER ASKED FOR THIS KINK

AussieDollVA: you should stick this up his butt

CakeCat: ^

AussieDollVA: take his temperature

Maximos: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

AussieDollVA: tell me how hot he is

Maximos: STAHPP

CakeCat: I know you want to

Maximos: NONONONONONO SOME ONE CALL 911

Cake Cat: on you. For being a pedo

Brosuke: Wat

Maximos: I NEVER MENT THIS IN A LEWD WATY I WAS WORRIED FOR YOUR HEALTH

CakeCat: k-kyaaaa m-makie d-don't touch me there

(Insert Lenny face)

Maximos: STOOOOOOOOOOP

CakeCat: y-your so d-dirty _blush_

Maximos: Cake you are evil

CakeCat: nah I'm just horny af

Maximos: EVEN FUCKING WORSE AHHHH

CakeCat: kinkyscream more daddy

Maximos: This is what I get when I worry for so,eone. Cake plz I'm not into kinks

CakeCat: lies. Your into futas

CakeCat: a n d

Maximos: N O

CakeCat: s

Maximos: O

CakeCat: Doll

CakeCat: ya getting all of dis?

Maximos: DOLL NO

AussieDollVA: doll _yes_

Maximos: YOU HAVE GROUP WORK AMD STUFF TO FO

Maximos: DO

Maximos: DON'T DO THOS DOLL

CakeCat: doll yes

Maximos: DOLL

CakeCat: I want to see Maxie as a stripper

AussieDollVA: yes darling

AussieDollVA: _beg for it_

CakeCat: and call him (insert balls-deep Akira) _daddy doc_ as he twerls around the pole

Maximos: BUT WHY

CakeCat: like the hoe he is

Maximos: PLEASE

CakeCat: _suffer_

AussieDollVA: one of you be the pimp

Maximos: WHY ARE YOU DIJMG

Maximos: AHHHHHH THELAG DOESN'T HELP EITHER

CakeCat: I will

AussieDollVA: NO MODS NO PROBLEM

CakeCat: ^

AussieDollVA: WOOOOOOOO

Maximos: Plz no pimp. Ohno

CakeCat: maxie get in your stripper outfit

Maximos: FUCK MY LIFE

CakeCat: its time I made some money off of dat ass

Maximos: NOT MY ASS

AussieDollVA: I wonder what ake will say

Maximos: He would be very disappointed

CakeCat: o

AussieDollVA: probably "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" (insert balls-deep Akira)

CakeCat: ake knows already

Maximos: NO STOP

CakeCat: bewcause iv been pimping him out for years

Maximos: I GONNA CRI AHHHHHHH

CakeCat: Out of joy?

 **END**

* * *

Still one more to go! Keep scrolling!

* * *

ChatLog: Pancakes

USER LIST:

CakeCat

Akechi_Kun

CakeCat: then ill wrap a pancake around akechis **** and move it up and down

Akechi_Kun: You can't find a pancake big enough cake

* * *

 **INSIDE JOKE TIME!**

* * *

 _Parlez vou croissant?_

* * *

 **END**


	4. Oct, Friday 13 Special

Hello anyone who's reading this.

You may be very confused about a lot of my work, since it only briefly mentions anything actually in the Persona Series. This Note is to explain why.

There is a place irl called the Phansite. In fact, the site is Phan site . net (plz take out the spaces if you wanna use). My fanfics come from the PMs section of the site, and the lovely creator, Mishima, checks it over.

I sometimes get emails or PMs saying they don't really get why my work is in the Persona area, or that it's too vague to be there and it should be moved to other areas of Fan fiction . net, but here's my reasoning for keeping it in the Persona area:

These fics are mostly based off Phansite regular RP-ers who often give me ideas for my shipping and writing. Since the Phansite was very much a Persona aspect (Persona 5, to be exact), it's the reason I keep posting in the Persona section. It's not a massive 'F-YOU' to the people who read it (quite the opposite actually). It's to introduce outsiders into the world that reality Phansite has created.

So please keep that in mind when reading my work, since a lot of it (especially if it says "PMs" in the title, or "Phansite") is directly from a rabid fan's perspective.

Thank you to all who took the time to read this.

-lmBH

* * *

As per usual, our main character didn't know exactly _how_ they got into their current situation. However, this time he couldn't say he was enjoying it.

Light's eyes fluttered open woozily. His head felt heavy and his brain was thudding with a terrible migraine. The damp cold air made it hard to breathe. Everything hurt and he couldn't remember where they were before they woke up. Even remembering his own name and gender was a struggle, but what took the cake was the frigid air hitting his bare chest as he lay on what felt like a metal table. When he lolled his head, Light caught a glimpse of metal bracing his wrists and ankles to the table. The room's low lighting mildly aided his throbbing head, but made it difficult to make out much else of his surroundings.

"Where am I..?" Light's tongue felt thick and heavy in his mouth. His jaw ached from disuse, and his throat burned when he gave out his raspy question.

An intercom's static from his left alerted Light. He lolled his head in that direction as a familiar voice fed through.

"Good morning, darling! I hope you enjoyed your beauty sleep. It might be a while before you get anymore!" That voice… So soft and loving. It sounded so compassionate. Only one person Light knew could sound like that.

"Doll. What's going on? Where am I?" Light's hoarse voice cracked near the end, but still he managed to choke it out. Doll's soft laughter echoed pleasantly around his head.

"You wanted to be in one of my productions, didn't you? This generally comes with the territory."

Light didn't hear an ounce of malice in her voice, but there was a certain _bite_ that Light couldn't distinguish that made him on edge.

"Doll… I—I'm scared—"Light's tremored voice was cut off.

" _Shhhhh_. It's okay, darling. Don't worry. It'll be _fun_."

Our main character's fear abated almost completely. Doll was notorious for her smutty productions. Surely this was just another one of her kinks? Maybe it'd be fun after all…

Light's fear spiked as soon as the door opened to his right, revealing a burly man pushing a trolley with sharp tools and gadgets littering the surface. He began to hyperventilate.

"Doll—please. No. I thought you said this was _fun_. You said this was meant to be _fun_. I just wanted to be part of the crew. Please. Doll – no. No stop. D-don't come any closer-!" Light's breathing hitched, spurring tears to his eyes. He couldn't focus past the sheer terror that gripped his chest. Even blinking was a struggle through thick cascades of salty tears which drenched his face.

He had no way of bracing himself as his torturer's scalpel bit into the soft flesh of his exposed and vulnerable chest.

* * *

Doll watches from her vantage point behind the glass. She occasionally taps her clipboard, but overall let's herself enjoy the delicious noises emitting from the speakers. On the other side of the glass lay a helpless man writhing in unimaginable pain.

She jots something down on the paper provided on the clipboard, before tearing the slip off and letting it feed through the converter slotted in the wall beside the viewing pane. She was slightly disappointed in the lull of tormented screams, but smiled happily when the executioner took hold of her requests and read it aloud.

"Use the guillotine," his gruff voice growled out. He chuckled.

"You are very upset with this one, eh?"

Doll had to cover her mouth with a hand to hide her elegant giggles. She nodded eagerly, urging the man to fulfil her request.

* * *

Light sucked in greedy gulps of tainted air. All he could smell was copper, and his eyes were too strained to bother opening. Everything screamed for him to take this moment's peace and rest, however his torturer's amused voice promised him more pain. Light's body was too tired to shake from the intense pain that wrapped around it. He could feel the clumps of blood coagulating along the edges of each cut, as well as the stream of red that travelled down the side of his head.

His musings were cut off as a rustling was heard beside him, at the tray of tools his torturer often referred back to when Light's screams weren't loud enough. It seemed as though the point of the exercise was to make him feel as much pain as possible without dying, since all the wounds were skin-deep. However, he was sure that would change very soon, especially with the break in his torment.

Light hadn't expected this turn of events. There was no indication that pointed to Doll being this mad. However, when the man really analysed the conversations he and the writer would have, he realised that: yes, irritation did in fact leak through some of her lines. He supposed pushing her to include him lead to this.

 _Light: How's the fanfic coming along?_

 _Doll: I'll write it when I get the chance._

Light winced. Yeah. He guessed he deserved this.

His eyes suddenly shot open. When he looked down, he saw his torturer unbuckle his pants and slide them down. A shot of panic iced over his chest as his dick was taken out of his underwear and slipped through some sort of round device with two handles. His member brushed against a sharp object on one side of the item, which became more apparent as the device was fed through to the base of his dick. He finally realised what was going on when the man tested one of the handles: pulling it in and out a little to see how the joints gave way to the sharp razor of the guillotine.

"Doll! No! NO PLEASE DON'T DO THIS! DOOOOOLLL!"

Light's voice was silenced as the blade sliced through delicate skin and muscle. He had a moment of painless realisation as the _shluck_ rung through the room, and then an intense pain like never before knocked into him so bad that he couldn't help the howls that ripped through his already abused throat.

* * *

Doll nodded in approval, and turned to leave her observation room. She'd leave her puppet to clean up the mess. Sirens rang out through the hallway as she approached the exit, and Doll promptly spun on her heel and headed for the secret tunnels.

Light would live, but Doll wouldn't be certain on a _full_ recovery.

 _After all, how could he tell them it was Doll if he had no voice?_

 **END**

* * *

AN: So that's a wrap! :D

This is a message. Please don't constantly nag at writers to include you in their fics if they do that already. Writers put a lot of effort into their work, and if they don't see certain OCs as relevant to their overall theme, then please don't constantly ask for a month just to be included in something that would've happened naturally. Also, I don't do face reveals anymore. So please stop asking.

Yes. I am annoyed. And mad at how insensitive some people are. Like, I have to finish my college course right now. Not cater to every little whim people have just because they're not willing to understand that my plate's already full.

I hope you enjoyed this Friday 13 special.

-lmBH


	5. Double Feature

**AN: So, this was really weird to write lel. I couldn't stop laughing XD.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Feature 1: Bona shows 9 some love. Parody from HibikiKuze's fanfic.**

* * *

It was a sunny day at Bona04's house. Instead of enjoying the wonderful weather, our star could be found by his computer, memeing the fuck out of the PMs and phorums. He had a very good relationship with his keyboard, except for today. Today, it demanded "SMASH MY NINE KEY", however Bona refused and eventually forgot about it after a whole day of hanging on the PMs. But the keyboard plotted and schemed, and eventually swapped the 9 and 0 keys around.

It is at this point that Bona realised that he was writing 19/19, and not 10/10 when rating certain memes. When he looked down at his keyboard, he realised with a jolt that he'd been smearing his jizz-stained hand along the 9 key all along! It was then that Bona realised that he'd been caressing the wrong key for almost the whole day, and that the number had exploded from its ecstasy.

With a horrified gasp, Bona let his eyes wonder further down along his keyboard. There, all along the edges of his keyboard was the intense amount of cum the 9 key had released. With the over-stimulation of using the key so much after such a long time of disuse, the key could barely pop back up from being pushed down so much.

With much hesitation, and a small internal debate, Bona04 tilted his head down and stuck out his tongue. With an experimental swipe, his tongue caught up enough of the salty mass to slurp up into his mouth and taste his 9 key's semen. He was surprised. He didn't expect to… _enjoy_ the normally putrid flavour his 0 key gave, yet somehow his 9 key's fluid was _sweeter_ and _fresher_ than anything he'd slurped before.

The keyboard shuddered, and the 9 key pinged with exhausted delight. It was pleased it could provide some form of enjoyment for its human. Bona noticed the movement and brought his tainted hand to finger the edges between the 9 key and the keyboard's frame. He flicked at it, once, twice, until the keyboard pinged and lit up various buttons unconsciously. Bona started a rhythm, where he'd flick 5 times in quick succession, give the keyboard some time to catch itself, then viciously lick up the white filth that spread between each of the keys.

The 9 key could barely control itself anymore. Now it yearned for this harsh play of its digit, despite the over stimulation bringing intense pain along its circuitry. The pain brought more pleasure, though, and only wound it up further. This human – _Bona04_ – was truly a wicked being. He knew exactly where to press, where to lick, to touch, to fondle. Everything was so despicably claiming that eventually it let the human have all the reactions he wanted. Every twist, jerk, shudder and wailing bleep was confirmation of the sharp rounds of ecstasy that destroyed the 9 key's sense of reality.

What was reality? Did it even exist? What was real and what was fake? The 9 key didn't know anymore. It was just glad it swapped places with the 0 key. How did the 0 key never cum like this, though? Did it not appreciate Bona's attention? The 9 key was confused, but the sharp flicks and careful licks distracted its mind once more. It let itself be ridden on this lustful, vulgar adventure.

Nothing else mattered now.

* * *

 **AN: There was a keyboard x human RP I wanted to include, so here it is**

* * *

Inari: _The keyboard yearned for the touch of its human. All it wanted was to feel the fat and oily fingers of its human owner. Alas, he did not come. What did it do to deserve this? All it ever wanted was to feel the grease of its human's fat fingers accumulated from blah blah blah_

pancakeboi: IS MY HUSKY GROANING ENOUGH FOR YOU, KEYBOARD-SAN?

pancakeboi: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Aishiomi: this is what I see when I come back

Aishiomi: Jesus fucking criost

AussieDollVA: _The clickity-clack of a keyboard can be heard from the other side of the room. It was quite a spacious room, so spacious that the moans coming from the computer's speakers reverberated from all corners. The typing stopped, but the moaning from the speakers became wanton. What was happening? The keyboard was confused. All it had ever known in its short life was the grease from oily fingers. All it knew was this barely-furnished room. All of a sudden there was something warm spilling over keyboard-san. It was frightened. What was going on?_

* * *

 **Feature 2: The Cover-Up. By: ToppingCoyote**

* * *

nobody saw the image above...it never happens alright? OKay? Okay. Um so, this is a story all about me how my life just got turned upside down, I'm losing my mind, going crazy, dickles is pickles man and a dont worry just let your mind go and forget about the horrible image i posted up there by accident but since this is october, i guess it should be fine but, i cant believe that my dumbass posted that image by accident and the only reason why im still typing this is cause i don't wanna spam the chat unless i posted a picture but um imma not gonna do that unless i got the "OKAY" then im not gonna do that but um i can post this story in here that'll hopefully make up for the accident. It's an old story that I did as a joke but um, here we go. And a one and a two and a three four five. "There once was a boy name Morning Wood. Morning Wood usually goes to the woods and look for some pussy~

One day he did find pussy and fucked the crap out of the pussy and cats were born from ze vagina. Morning wood's pengus was standing on it own, jumping off of Morning Wood's balls and said,"Go fuck yourself, mate. Alright? You don't deserve my fucking huge and long cock. You deserve to join the KKK for all I care. So, fuck off," and the huge dick walked away in the crowd of pussy cats. Morning Wood missed his dick already...

So he made a hand stitched dick on his balls.

Morning Wood started to fuck trees, rocks, and lakes, squeezing ze fuq out of hiz ballz. And then, he accidentally squeeze his ballz soooooo hard dat he have no ballz no more. He was having man Morning Periods, and was squeaming hiz fuqing headz off and died.

De end of Deez Nutz." now I only post the text instead of the actual story link cuz i wanna try make it as long as possible and there goes the limit

 **(AN: There's a 2000 character limit to all messages on PMs)**

 **END**

* * *

 **AN: Okay! So that was fun! XD I hope you all enjoyed this as much as me!**


	6. Cuphead

AN: For the record, this chapter changed last minute from "Doll goes edge lord" to "chat gets lewd". I hope you all enjoy. There is no actual story this chapter. Only chat log. It's too perfect to add to XD.

Side note: I always call Maximos "picasso" because of his profile pic (he changes between Jack Frost and Pyro Jack often). I have since I met the guy and I refuse to change my ways.

Also, :[word]: activates emoji. For example: :akira: activates lewd akira, :yukari: activates smug yukari emoji, etc. and *[word]* = italics, **[word]** = bold, ***[word]*** = bold and italics, but if there's a space between word and ** then it's a fail.

Enjoy!

* * *

Maximos: was just checking to see whats up

Maximos: ayy brosuke

Maximos: guess ill go back to cuphaed then

AussieDollVA: ..-. Rage simulator

Brosuke: cuphell

Maximos: what? Dude. It ain't that hard. I mean sure you die a lot, but you can learn everything like after 5 death

AussieDollVA: Some of the bosses change their moves, like sans in undertale

Maximos: Not really. They dotn change

Brosuke: It's all about patience

AussieDollVA: Plot twist. I got none.

Brosuke: Same

Maximos: im not having any difficulties. I don't have patience too.

AussieDollVA: PICASSO IS THE LEGIT MVP

Maximos: but I know raging at a game is pointless

AussieDollVA: JACK FROST COOL AS A CUCUMBER

Maximos: so I try to keep calm and learn. Hue

AussieDollVA: PYRO JACK HOT AS HELL

Maximos: heck yea boi

Brosuke: yee

AussieDollVA: swap those around tho. Top 10 anime betrayals right there.

Maximos: ohh. I know why I don't rage at this!

Maximos: I used to play a lot of old school and hard games when I was a kid. Like contra and streets of rage. Also castlevania.

Brosuke: Thaaat makes sense

AussieDollVA: you still haven't played mario cart against me

Maximos: cuphead is a walk in the park compared to those. Also…

AussieDollVA: Or tennis wii

Maximos: I USED TO PLAY MARIO 2 JP VERSION. YOU KNOW. THE FUCKING HELL ONE?

AussieDollVA: OH MY GOD. YES.

Maximos: YEA. I GREW UP WITH THAT.

AussieDollVA: FLIP A TABLE FOR ME SOMEONE

Maximos: so this ain't shit for me

Brosuke: OH FUGG

AussieDollVA: you still haven't played mario cart against me

Maximos: uhh.. how tho?

AussieDollVA: I turned my sister into a monster after 20 mins

Maximos: I don't have wii u or switch. Kek

AussieDollVA: ye but I have wii

Brosuke: mairo kart wii was my shit

AussieDollVA: if we ever play against eachother, I may destroy your brain

Maximos: you can't play multiplayer with wii anymore

Mishima: You can.

Maximos: server-

MonoDj: Lie BTW.

Mishima: On private servers.

Maximos: Oh? Ohhhhhh

Zero-X: but it's local

AussieDollVA: I also learned little cheat codes

MonoDj: You can.

AussieDollVA: ye u can

Maximos: I didn't know

Zero-X: brb

MonoDj: It requires some Homebrew.

Mishima: It's public

Maximos: I don't have a wii

AussieDollVA: lel. I don't have a life

AussieDollVA: We all gotta start somewhere tho

Maximos: Same tbh

Brosuke: Same

AussieDollVA: OH NO

Maximos: ?

AussieDollVA: I'VE STARTED A PITY PARTY! MISHI KICK ME PLZ

Maximos: ohno

AussieDollVA: I'VE DONE BAD

Maximos: sin. BURN THE WITCH REEEEEEEE

AussieDollVA: There are so many ways to kick someone

AussieDollVA: I have kinky fic on other half of screen

AussieDollVA: we all know where I'm going with this

Maximos: owo ohno

AussieDollVA: XD

Brosuke: oh

Maximos: post kinky cuphead rule 34

Maximos: PLEASE DON'T

Brosuke: NO

Maximos: I'VE HEARD HORRORS ABOUT R34 CUPHEAD

Maximos: wait… If someone likes r34 cuphead… are they furry or just… like…

AussieDollVA: I just checked it out… o-o

Maximos: DUDE! WHY!?

AussieDollVA: I'm _scarred_

Maximos: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF DOLL!?

AussieDollVA: THAT WAS MORE KINKY THAN PB'S KINKBAIT ROOM

AussieDollVA: HOLY SHIT

AussieDollVA: I SAVED THAT PAGE FOR LATER

Maximos: JESUS YOU MAD MAN

Brosuke: _why do you do this to yourself_

Maximos: ^

MonoDj: I have… I want to die.

AussieDollVA: I'm a lady. We don't blast porn we make some for ourselves

AussieDollVA: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Maximos: .-.

AussieDollVA: MONO HAS CUPHEAD PFP OH NO

Maximos: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Brosuke: OH NOOOOO

Maximos: BAN MONO

AussieDollVA: RUN MONO! WHILE YOU STILL CAAAANNNNN!

Maximos: KILL MONO!

AussieDollVA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NO!

MonoDj: :gun:

Brosuke: ESCAPE

AussieDollVA: DON'T KILL LE MONO

Shou_Tucker: _burp_

AussieDollVA: XD kek

AussieDollVA: so

Maximos: soooooooooooooooooo

AussieDollVA: I was checking out the smut page I have set up

Brosuke: oh

AussieDollVA: that filters only smut fics for my amusement

AussieDollVA: and lately… all I've gotten… was cuphead smut… and… BATIM smut…

AussieDollVA: it's really hot

Brosuke: _oh_

Maximos: o-o

AussieDollVA: but _god damn_ it's kinky

Maximos: good lord

AussieDollVA: having cups for heads is a whole new world to explore

MonoDj: Cupsonas exist, BTW.

Brosuke: a terrible thought just passed through my mind

AussieDollVA: and bleeding ink makes some activities incredibly kinky

AussieDollVA: CUPSONAS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA OMG

 _*AussieDollVA falls out of her chair_

Maximos: N O

Maximos: DELET! *sends meme of telly tubby with AK47*

AussieDollVA: BROSUKE! SHARE WITH US THIS THOUGHT!

Brosuke: alright.

Brosuke: are you sitting?

MonoDj: Yes.

Maximos: fuck this im going back to get my ass handed to myself

AussieDollVA: YES

Brosuke: _cumhead_

Maximos: N O

MonoDj: N O

AussieDollVA: AHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Maximos: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Maximos: WHY!

Brosuke: I KNOW

Maximos: YOU

MonoDj: NOOOOOOOOO

* _AussieDollVA falls out of chair_

Maximos: FUCKING. IDIOT.

MonoDj: :GUN:

Maximos: **_SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH_**

MonoDj: AAAAAHHHHH

Brosuke: ** _REEEEEEEEEEE_

Maximos: VOICES IN MY HEAD TELLING ME TOO **_BURN YOU IN ACID_**

Brosuke: fucc

AussieDollVA: *sends image of scared Cuphead vs Bendy in casino* THE WHITE STUFF ISN'T THEIR BRAINS! IT'S CUM!

Maximos: DOLL

AussieDollVA: BEST THEORY

MonoDj: NO

AussieDollVA: EVER

Brosuke: OH NO

Maximos: I WILL KILL YOU. STOP. NOW. I SWEAR!

AussieDollVA: XD I love you guys

Maximos: IM SENDING NUKES TO AUSTRALIA

MonoDj: * _Pulls out gun_ * No.

AussieDollVA: u guys remind me there's always something to laugh at

Maximos: WE WILL NOT LAUGH AT CUMHEAD! NO! FUCK!

AussieDollVA: that there's always something worse than the kinky smut I look at daily

MonoDj: D

Maximos: THAT'S IT

Brosuke: NO0O

AussieDollVA: you guys are great for a laugh

Maximos: I JUST WANTED TO PLAY SOME CUPHEAD!

AussieDollVA: cuckhead is next to cumhead on the list

Maximos: WHY?!

AussieDollVA: OH NO

Maximos: WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!

AussieDollVA: I FORGOT U WERE PLAYING THAT PICASSO

AussieDollVA: IM SO SORRY

Maximos: IT'S FUCKING RUINED! FUCK!

Zero-X: …

MonoDj: CUCKHEAD WITH CUM IN HIS HEAD

AussieDollVA: OH NO

AussieDollVA: OH NO

Maximos: I CANT UNSEE IT

AussieDollVA: PICASSO

Maximos: IT HURTS

AussieDollVA: ARE YOU GONNA RAGE QUIT

Zero-X: :ohno:

Maximos: YES

Brosuke: cumhead and smutman

AussieDollVA: OH NO

Maximos: I DIDN'T RAGE QUIT AT THE BOSS

AussieDollVA: XD

Zero-X: what have I walked in to

Maximos: I DID AT THE FUCKING **_D_**

 _*AussieDollVA is dying_

 _*Maximos loads gun_

 _*Zero-X shoots maxo_

Maximos: enough living for one day I guess?

MonoDj: Guys! Guys! Quiet!

 _*Zero-X then shoots doll_

Maximos: ? what mono

Zero-X: eh?

* _AussieDollVA was dead long before the shot_

Zero-X: what mono?

Maximos: rip doll

MonoDj: Cumhead and Muzzleman

* _Zero-X burns her corpse_

Maximos: **_YOU FUCKING CUCKLORD_**

Brosuke: I mean… I said smutman but… that works too…

Maximos: BROSUKE! NOT YOU TOO!

Zero-X: mwahahahahahahahhaahahahahahah brb

Maximos: drad loozongog

AussieDollVA: SOMEONE BETTER BE SCREENCAPPING THIS

Maximos: loosong*

AussieDollVA: IT'S GOLD

Maximos: NO! THIS CONVERSATION SHOULD NEVER COME BACK! NO! BAD DOLL!

MonoDj: CUMHEAD AND MUZZLEMAN GO TO THE CASINO AND FUCK THE DEVIL

AussieDollVA: OH MY GOD

Maximos: MONO FUCK ***O F F ***

Maximos: AWKUUFTGLIASFEGF]

AussieDollVA: WE'RE ALL GONNA GET BANNED

Maximos: IN GOING TO DIE

Brosuke: _OY_

AussieDollVA: MISHI'S GONNA WALK IN

Omega-X: WARIWA MESHIA NARI!

AussieDollVA: AND BAN ALL OF US

Maximos: MISHIMA! HELP!

Omega-X: MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Maximos: CLENSE THIS PLACE

Omega-X: am back btw

Brosuke: this is _LOSS_

Omega-X: Maxo

Maximos: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Omega-X: maxo…. MAXO!

Maximos: NOT THE LOSS! AHHHHHHHHHHH MY BRAIN AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

* _AussieDollVA messages Mishima "mishi before u look in the chat plz note that I did not start this madness plz don't ban me"_ *

AussieDollVA: I feel so bad. We ruined Picasso's game

Mishima: What

AussieDollVA: DON'T SCROLL UP! PLZ!

Brosuke: my thoughts exactly

Maximos: I GONNA HAVE ANEURYSM! PLEASE! NO MORE!

AussieDollVA: * _sends quote screen cap of Mono saying "CUMHEAD AND MUZZLEMAN GO TO THE CASINO AND FUCK THE DEVIL_ *

AussieDollVA: The guy with the cuphead pfp said it all

Brosuke: let it be known that this is what caused the great cleanse

MonoDj: Blame Doll TBH.

Maximos: doll please. Let it die.. I….. I can't take it….

AussieDollVA: DON'T BLAME DA DOLL

Maximos: Im… WELL YOU WENT TO R34 FIRST! FUCK!

AussieDollVA: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I SWEAR!

Maximos: **_ACCIDENT?!_**

Maximos: AKJGEFLAEGFOUE,S;GFHRASDGFT

Brosuke: I was the one who thought of _it_

Maximos: YOU BROUGHT THE PLAGUE

AussieDollVA: I'm so glad I stayed up

MonoDj: hmmm… SHOULD I CONTINUE!?

Maximos: I WILL FUCK YOU UP SON

AussieDollVA: probably not

MonoDj: Ok.

Maximos: CONTINUE AND ILL TURN YOU INTO A CUMHEAD YOU CUCKLORD

* _AussieDollVA falls under her table_

MonoDj: HE SAID IT.

Brosuke: oof

MonoDj: SO I WILL CONTINUE

Maximos: ALL I WANTED WAS TO FUCKING PLAY CUPHEAD

AussieDollVA: OH NO

Maximos: B A N NOW!

Brosuke: OH NO _PLEASE_

 _*Maximos_ _ **LORDS SHOTGUN**_

MonoDj: _THE_

Maximos: DON'T YOU DARE

AussieDollVA: ripperoni picasso's game

Maximos: I cri

MonoDj: That's all I got.

Maximos: .-.

Brosuke: gotta throw the whole phansite away now

Maximos: time to delet phansite

AussieDollVA: :ohno:

Maximos: mish plz

AussieDollVA: _the purge has begun_

Pikadaboi: henlo

Maximos: hey

AussieDollVA: oh wow hi pika. Great timing.

Maximos: no

MonoDj: Scroll Up.

Maximos: NO! DON'T!

AussieDollVA: DON'T SCROLL UP

Maximos: LET IT DIE

AussieDollVA: DON'T DO IT! OH NO!

Maximos: Don't!

ShadowCDoom: …

Maximos: FUCK

AussieDollVA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Maximos: IT WAS JUST GONNA GET CALMDOWN! I GONNA SUFFICATE!

Pikadaboi: what in the actual fuck

AussieDollVA: ^^^

Maximos: ^^^

MonoDj: ^^^

ShadowCDoom: ….. should I be glad idk what it is

Maximos: Y E S

Pikadaboi: no

Maximos: I mean…

AussieDollVA: um…

Maximos: be glad you don't know

AussieDollVA: depends how lewd u like it

Maximos: NP! NO** JUST DON'T SHADOW! DON'T. LOOK. UP.

ShadowCDoom: wasn't planning on it

Maximos: GOOD

AussieDollVA: pretty sure shadow's a vanilla bean

Pikadaboi: I came on to tell you guys I arrived in LA

Maximos: nibba im super vanilla

AussieDollVA: picasso… _le booty_ …

Maximos: ayy LA

Maximos: mmmm booty

Maximos: I mean what

ShadowCDoom: -facepalm-

Pikadaboi: the first thing I saw as the plane was coming down was traffic

Maximos: ohno

Pikadaboi: lots

ShadowCDoom: yup… I imagine so

Pikadaboi: in fact the parking lot to the left of the plane *sends image from phone gallery*

Mishima: *sends image of latest update on Phorums* Little update

MonoDj: What?

Maximos: owo

MonoDj: oH.

Maximos: Portrate pfp

Mishimas: Avatars aren't squares anymore

MonoDj: OH

Maximos: nicu

MonoDj: YES

Maximos: well only in forums… not PMs…

Pikadaboi: wot

Mishima: Yep

Pikadaboi: WHAT

Maximos: look up fam.

Maximos: Not too up.

Pikadaboi: YISD

Maximos: ah

Pikadaboi: YISSSSSSS

Maximos: pika happy

MonoDj: Yay.

* * *

[AN: Please note that here is where Doll was busy taking screencaps of the whole thing, so she won't be talking for a while lol]

* * *

Pikadaboi: TIME TO MAKE THE THICCEST PIKA

Maximos: oh

Maximos: ohno

MonoDj:

Pikadaboi: wiat… im not anywhere near my computer. Fucx.

Maximos: rip

Maixmos: sigh

Maximos: wanna play cuphead but… **_P T S D_**

 _*Maximos shivers_

Pikadaboi: show me the real dark souls

Maximos: uhhh

ShadowCDoom: * _sends screencap of his steam page on Dark Souls_ * there you go

Maximos: * _sends screencap of SMT_ * here. Dark souls of persona

Pikadaboi: I WANT THE REAL DARK SOULS

Omega-X: neat. Brb.

Maximos: * _sends image of Crash Bandicoot N-Sane Trilogy game cover*_ here. The REAL dark souls

Omega-X: the dark souls of Platformers. And brb.

Pikadaboi: THE **_REAL_** DARK SOULS

Maximos: oh ffs * _sends image of Cuphead 'don't deal with the devil' ad*_

Zero-X: am back

Maximos: this?

Pikadaboi: im just fucking with you guys at this point

ShadowCDoom: y'know what. Im booting up DarkSouls rn.

* * *

[AN: insert conversation of Dark Souls that I was too lazy to screencap and now it's lost to the sea of PMs history that I can't be bothered to look back on. What you missed out on: Picasso playing Dark Souls with a keyboard instead of a controller and dying on the inside. Repeatedly. Nothing new there. Time skip 30 mins later tho…]

* * *

AussieDollVA: tfw it takes over half an hour to take 100+ screencaps

Akechi_Kun: hi hi

Zero-X: sup Akechi

AussieDollVA: Akechi! So glad ur here!

Maximos: dude… doll…

AussieDollVA: ima go to sleep now

Maximos: don't tell me…

Zero-X: nite doll

Maximos: you didn't…

AussieDollVA: this has been a high impact night.

AussieDollVA: OH AND PICASSO!

AussieDollVA: HEY! UM… BAE!

Zero-X: she didn't what?

Maximos: W

Zero-X: …

Maximos: BOI

AussieDollVA: **_:3_**

Zero-X: what did she do?

AussieDollVA: _doll out_

Maximos: NO! DELET!

Zero-X: nite doll

Akechi_Kun: Nighto Doll

Maximos: GET BACK HERE!

Zero-X: and just do some stuff rn

Maximos: YOU AIN'T GOING ANYWHERE WITH THOSE SCREENSHOTS!

Maximos: DF0JSEAPOIH

Maximos: DOLL!

Maximos: I KNOW YOU CAN READ THIS!

Maximos: DID YOU TOOK FROM ALL OF THE CONVERSATION?

AussieDollVA: **_you'll never knowwww~~~_**

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN: over 100 screenshots. Over 2000 words. Zero-X's name was really hard to type dammit. I hope you enjoyed it. I'm too sick to make anything lewd, and since this happened last night I was like YES THANK GOD! When I said I changed theme of chapter last minute, I really wasn't joking XD.

Thank you so much for reading!

-lmBH


	7. My Moment of Weakness

Hello anyone who's reading this.

You may be very confused about a lot of my work, since it only briefly mentions anything actually in the Persona Series. This Note is to explain why.

There is a place irl called the Phansite. In fact, the site is **phan s ite** **. n e t** (plz take out the spaces if you wanna use). My fanfics come from the PMs section of the site, and the lovely creator, Mishima, checks it over.

I sometimes get emails or PMs saying they don't really get why my work is in the Persona area, or that it's too vague to be there and it should be moved to other areas of Fan fiction . net, but here's my reasoning for keeping it in the Persona area:

These fics are mostly based off Phansite regular RP-ers who often give me ideas for my shipping and writing. Since the Phansite was very much a Persona aspect (Persona 5, to be exact), it's the reason I keep posting in the Persona section. It's not a massive 'F-YOU' to the people who read it (quite the opposite actually). It's to introduce outsiders into the world that reality Phansite has created.

So please keep that in mind when reading my work, since a lot of it (especially if it says "PMs" in the title, or "Phansite") is directly from a rabid fan's perspective.

Thank you to all who took the time to read this.

-lmBH

* * *

Also: Aishi, PB, I am so sorry. This was a moment of weakness and I'm sorry I failed you ;_;

* * *

Enjoy!

* * *

In the otherwise empty Uno room, Ake pinned Picasso to the wall. Picasso could say he was shocked, only he would've been lying. For the past hour, he'd been screaming out 'SUCK ME DADDY!' and 'SHOVE MY CARDS UP YOUR ASS!'. How could he expect Ake to react?

"You're quite delectable in this light, you know that?" Ake purred, digging his nose into the quivering male beneath him.

"Please… H-have mercy…" Picasso whimpered. Ake dragged his nails along the smaller boy's wrists, pushing him harder into the plastered wall. Ake hummed into the side of Picasso's neck, causing sharp tingles to zap across his chest. Breathing became difficult from the suddenly heated air. Ake, sliding his tongue languidly along the tip of Picasso's left ear, grinned mischievously as Picasso visibly surrendered himself to the taller male.

Deciding that it was better to just give in, Picasso let his back arch with each press of Ake's dexterous fingers. Ake seemed to know every sweet spot and took advantage of each one in abundance save for the main one hanging between the bare man's legs. Ake's knee wedged itself between those long legs, allowing a post for Picasso to grind himself against the taller man's knee. With every press, Picasso would arch further along the thigh, grinding harder and harder each time. His mouth opened in silent moans, to which Ake would insert his thumb into the warm moist opening, eliciting heated pleasure to pool at Picasso's groin. This next-level penetration made Picasso's eyes to roll into the back of his head.

The pleasure only increased tenfold when Ake decided to get creative with his skilled tongue.

Blood rushed to Picasso's head as he bucked his hips into Ake's knee. Dizzying euphoria dominated as Ake's mouth closed around Picasso's, tongue invading the cavern his thumb once inhabited. The kiss sucked the air out of Picasso's lungs making breathing impossible. That burning feeling of inevitable suffocation only egged him on further, Picasso's hips bucking faster and harder into the thigh below him. Ake's grunting was barely heard over the pounding of Picasso's heart. His blood rushed, pounding in his ears as though he were underwater.

Pressure was building. Even as his sight spotted over, Picasso was aware of his balls being caressed. He was especially aware of the sudden chill that accompanied precum beading along the tip of his shaft. Cotton filled his head, and his movements slowed till he was a limp marionette in Ake's grasp. No longer was pleasure being built. No longer could Picasso participate in this erotic dance. He could only gasp in relief as Ake finally released his mouth, allowing him to breathe after long last.

Picasso let Ake press him into the wall and run fingers down his shaft. His mind was stuffed with cotton from oxygen deprivation, his movement non-existent save for desperate breathing. When Ake couldn't get more than a weak whimper for his efforts, he decided to slide his lover down the wall and rest him against the floor.

"Wh—what…?" Picasso breathed out, eyelids half-closed as he recovered.

"That's it, love. I'll let you recover. We'll continue this after you've rested…" Ake whispered, bringing his forehead to rest against the exhausted man's. Picasso's sight clouded over before, finally, he succumbed to the sleep he desperately needed.

With that, Ake finally turned to the Uno room. He was definitely glad he'd locked the door before he'd pinned Picasso.

The camera in the corner still had a red light blinking. Ake smirked.

 _I'm sure Doll enjoyed the show._

* * *

AN: I... I did enjoy this. I enjoyed it a lot. ;_; This was a moment of weakness and I am sorry.


End file.
